From May 23, 2012
“a time to weep and a time to laugh,
a time to mourn and a time to dance.” -(Ecclesiastes 3:4)
My Mom used to say, whenever some major life change occurred, “Honey, you have to allow yourself to grieve.”
It did not seem like I should grieve at a time such as graduating from college, having a new baby, or finishing a good book even. Those were joyful things. Why would I be grieving? It has taken me a while to figure this one out. Whenever there is a new beginning, there is also an ending. Even if that new start is something I have looked forward to and anticipated, it also means there is something I have to let go or leave behind. The leaving and the joining go hand in hand. The hello and goodbye work together.
Doug and I have had our house put up for sale for just about a month now. We have been looking forward to moving closer to our church and where we might send our kids to high school (yes that is just around the corner and stuns me a bit, but that is another note altogether). The idea of finding a new home to make our own and begin a new adventure is exciting. For some reason it reminds me of Bilbo Baggins beginning his adventure in the Hobbit. He was cozy in his home, happy and content, yet he was about to embark on a journey that would be full of fun, excitement, craziness, and people and things never before experienced. All those things would be worth it, yet he could still mourn his comfy Bag-end.
We got a wonderful offer last night. Paperwork to sign off on the agreement happens tonight. Then it is a series of jumping through hoops where, unless something unexpected happens, we will leave this home of ours that we have lived in for almost 10 years and find a new place to make our home and neighbors. Theoretically we won’t be out of our house for a month and a half. However, Camp staff training starts on Tuesday, and the amount of time we will be in our home drops off drastically after this coming weekend.
I have 3 days at best, folks. Three days to be home in a house that helped grow our children, fellowship with many friends and memories, connect me to amazing neighbors, and provide close proximity to a city I love with beauty all around.
I am grieving. I grieve the loss of this while at the same time I celebrate getting a price for our home that is worth it. I celebrate the ability to transform a new house into a home: I celebrate the experiences now unknown to me that will help grow my children the rest of the time they live with us and more. Yet still I grieve the leaving. And I rest in the knowing that it is ok. It is good. It is part of the process. It is in the Bible even, to feel this way. There is a time for both, and sometimes that happens at the same time. In the big scheme of things? This is minor. This is not earth shattering. It just is.
I thank God for both.
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