Counseling.

“Your theme in counseling has been…” my counselor began. 

In that millisecond before she could continue, my brain silently interrupted. “Oooo!  I have a theme??  I wonder what it is?”  Given time, I think I would have discovered it with enough reflection.  But that is one of the beautiful aspects of good therapy for me.  I don’t have to carve it out myself; time is purposefully set aside for contemplation. The counselor asks effective questions, sifts through what comes out in response, and lifts what is found to help examine if there are valuable nuggets to keep.  It also helps that she is a step removed and has perspective to recognize truth in situations where I am too close to see. 

This is the third time in my life I have gone to counseling.  The first experience happened shortly after giving birth to two kids 15 months apart, meeting postpartum depression in the process, and having sleep deprivation move into our house for an overstayed welcome.  The second time was a joint effort when Doug and I had been slogging through a desert time in our marriage and needed refreshment and renewal. This most recent journey began as my dad declined severely in health and my family of origin had to navigate conversations and life in ways we hadn’t before.

I know I tend to be introspective.  Once I was told by an acquaintance in college that I was a rather intense individual, and another time I was criticized for usually wanting to go deeper in conversations.  When I was a young girl, I remember an occasion when a sibling complained rather loudly that I asked too many questions.  To this day, I am thankful for my mom’s immediate response. She declared, “That’s how we learn. We ask questions.” 

Recently I spent a day at Camp Scottie (the day camp of Camp Roger).  I was struck by how many questions young kids ask.  It is easy for an adult (me included) to tire of all the “whys” and “what happens whens” and “how comes”.  Yet God never tires of our seeking Him for answers.  He delights in our wonderings and coming to Him for guidance.  Matthew 7:7-8 has a section Jesus teaches about prayer, but I think it can also apply with asking God all my questions. The message version has Jesus reassuring his listeners this way: “Keep on asking, and you will receive what you ask for. Keep on seeking, and you will find. Keep on knocking, and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks, receives. Everyone who seeks, finds. And to everyone who knocks, the door will be opened.”    
I love that Jesus refers to the Holy Spirit as the Counselor.  This word in Greek is Paraclete. I know this means advocate, helper, comforter, one called/invited to stand next to, like a defense lawyer as well.  Being a lover of words (and the Word), I delight in the nuances of the meaning.  As I draw this third round of therapy with my own counselor to a close, I take great comfort not only in knowing I can pick it up again when needed, but also that I have the Holy Spirit to continue to walk with me as I continue this journey of asking questions and needing perspective greater than my own.   
May you not be afraid to go to a counselor and the Counselor too.